Seizing the moment.

I am perplexed. On one hand, I know that it must be done, I want it to be so. On the other, I fear that I would mess things up. What do you do when you're confused? Do you just screw it all and go for what you want? I have been known to be impulsive, but I am holding back. This is not normal.

And so it is done

And so it is done, all the unhappiness... Gone? Perhaps not, but shoved involuntarily and with brutal force into a dingy corner where memories reside. I will always love my memories, and cherish them. There is always a soft spot in my heart, where memories continue to grow, dreams based on those memories, of what could have been, if only. If only.

We are all different people, similar in most ways, but each is slightly individual, and in the case where differences are exaggerated because of over-analysis, now that is just a shame. We stand tall, stand strong, and we get what we want no matter the price. We concentrate on the goal, and brave the path.

Trying times

Through trying times, many of us wish that there was someone there to stand by us, and give us the emotional support that we need, or rather yearn for. However as time passes we all realize that it is impeccable that we are self sustaining, self reliant. Dont get me wrong,I am always trying to help out, and i know what i can and cannot do for someone. But that said, i think that it is impossible to be happy when it is a dead ended thing, when there is no happiness in sight. We just deal with it. This of course... Duh, is easier said than done, but through our trails and tribulations, we grow to be more than who we are, become better and stronger in character, and most importantly, find out who we truly are.

A dear friend said to me recently: "I wanna see you stressed out. Stress brings out the best and the worst in people." Stress. Be it emotional or psychological, gives us a chance to learn, about the one thing that we are here for. Ourselves. Gaining experience as we go along. Going by the book mostly just doesn't cut it.

If help is needed, ask, and i will try my best.

In Loving Memory

Though our encounter was brief, you left a deep and lasting impression on me, one that i will hold in loving memory of you. Though your time here was brief, There is no turning back from what is wanted of you in the infinite wisdom of our creator.

To a friend whom i never had, I bid you farewell. We shall meet again, where the pastures are greener.

Dizzy

I am dizzy by what i call anticipation, of something that may just well never happen, and a future that may well never be. I am a fighter, and i fight for what I want, but what happens when those around me are not wanting the same thing as me? How is it, or rather, is it my job to convince them? Perhaps it has been my job all these years to convince people about what they do and do not want that i unknowingly apply it into my own life, But where does fate come into play then? where does selection based on common interest come in? I know that i am different from most, I know i have tendencies that many others do not, split personality sometimes too i feel, but that's not my fault issit?

Whatever the case, I am waiting in anticipation, to see what time may or may not reveal to those around me, and hoping hard that at the end, what they want may just coincide with what i want. I saw a picture, it was rather direct. Get what you want. What happens if people dont know what they want? What do i do with me?

Tadaah!

Well, I am having a personal, self caused headache, with the reason of my problems self caused. I really dont know what to do or how to react any more, and in this situation,I really am lost enough to not do anything at all.

Well, if you are reading this, please do talk to me, and give me opinions on what you are thinking, and as long as communication channels remain open, and we are receptive to ideas, everything can be worked out. That is a universal truth innit?

Whatever the case is, I do think that I am wasting time here, getting fat as hell, doing close to nothing, enough time to be blogging ever so often, and i do hope that my mind doesnt waste away within these few months, unchallenged.

Living true

Venturing back into the past, when i watched the show... Walk Hard (all of you should catch it) I was inspired to Walk Hard in life, to be all that I can be,To strive for everything that i want. That has been mostly how i have based my thought and decision processes. However, what happens when emotions get in the way? I was just thinking, RPGs are easy cos you have no emotional attachment to the "soldiers" that are sent into the battlefield to fight. Imagine the same computer game that you felt a great deal about every single one of them that are sent to the battlefield!

Well, true to my word, I am bloggin' like a rabid me... And tadaa... more of my thoughts are penned!

Time to KILL!!

Well, I have taken another step backwards, and my life is slowing down a notch more! I am stuck in an office most of the day, with time to kill, and thus such, I am going to be back, posting with a vengeance!!

I dare say that I will not be able to do this for a long time, this staying in the office all day thing, and I just cannot comprehend as to how people can sit their asses there all day and not be so tired after a day! One point that i have to add is that fatigue from this activity is totally independent from the quantity or quality of work. It is however, solely dependent on company. If those around you are interesting, it is a breeze. Needless to say, it is tiring for me.

That said, I am enjoying the place, just cos the place that I am at right now brings back many memories, of happier days. Lets see how this works out. Who knows, it might turn into resentment, reminding only of a time past, gone by.

Qurified message

This is so cool it's insane!! This is for example, my contact info!! Go figure!

Dizzy

I'm back! after a long break, and after a wretched cold has forced me to slow down a tad, that i am here again, lost and confused as to the next step that i must take. The right choice is not always the best choice says my friend, but what else can i do? What else can be expected? I really dont know.

In hindsight, Korea was fun, and i cant understand skiing, it is so dangerous!! Cant stop, hurtling toward people and trying my best to avoid them is insane! Well, I love the weather, and -15 is better than 35 degrees!

I am addicted to what cannot be. Maybe.