I am tired

I have realized that there is a limit to how much one can force oneself. I am tired, of making, or rather forcing everything to work. I need a break, but yet, deadlines are rendering me dead. Just today, i realized that i have changed. From the optimistic carefree person, to one that knows that it's all just going to be a bitch, unless I work hard to take things against their natural course. Which for me, is usually perpendicular, if not, in the totally opposite direction from where i want it to be.

I wanna play golf! why is what so hard to comprehend that!! haha, i am usually thinking that, but otherwise, it's just school and that tad bit of work that I do that takes up the rest of my time! Tell me, how do i lead a life like that? Coupled with the crazy nights pissed drunk, I think I IS WALKING HARD!!!!!!!