Well, it has happened again. It's going fugged up. My home computer didnt survive a lightning strike near or on my house. Thought it was the power supply, but evidently, it isnt!! Well, so now it's time to get a new mobo, and a new processor. I was thinking intel c2d extreme. I am still pissed off. You know, how many people have so much crap in their lives? Typical!
On the other hand, I have been thinking of getting a new mobo, and processor, just cos the computer that I built for my sister is almost as fast as mine... Stock! Well, here's the reason. Sent from above!
I have been feeling rather tired recently, dunno if it's the workload or the influx of crap. I just like a cleaner. You know, when there's crap here, clean it up, then more appears over there, and then off I go again... And then it appears everywhere, and I start cleaning like mad, and then it starts piling up... and I am cleaning like mad, but it piles so high it hits the fan... and then it gets flung everywhere, and everything is covered in crap...
Haha... dont mind me.. I am just rambling on... I am just pissed at my computer, and the shit I am getting at work... Thank goodness there is one who still makes me smile when I think of.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Rationalizing
Rationalizing all sorts of stuff that I have done and think about, I realize that it is really unnecessary, all over again. Well, I suppose that most people will never understand. Just because I don't bitch about things does not mean that I am not doing my absolute best. I cant do this any more. I am just gonna go get more beer. I feel like shit, and I am real pissed. I really wonder why I bother. I am learning not to let it affect me no more.
What happens when what you want and what you don't want are in direct conflict? It is so very common.
What happens when what you want and what you don't want are in direct conflict? It is so very common.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Comprehension.
All too often when we see someone perform an action without a name, we rapidly forget its alien outlines and tailor our recall to fit the patterns dictated by convention ...and our conventional vocabulary.
Try to never dismiss what you don't understand because we are already excluding enough. And as a friend told me, it is important to get the whole story right. The immersion into even the seemingly mundane / uninteresting may have interesting results. No time is wasted, as long as we learned something. Be it ourselves, our surroundings, about others, or sundry.
Truth is, we can always learn something, until such time we decide to shut off. Whether or not self justified.
Try to never dismiss what you don't understand because we are already excluding enough. And as a friend told me, it is important to get the whole story right. The immersion into even the seemingly mundane / uninteresting may have interesting results. No time is wasted, as long as we learned something. Be it ourselves, our surroundings, about others, or sundry.
Truth is, we can always learn something, until such time we decide to shut off. Whether or not self justified.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Reality Is A Shared Hallucination.
Sometimes it means an outright falsehood told in order to deceive
people and advance the agenda of the liar. Or it can be a “lie of omission,”
in which the crucial part of the story that we’re not being told is
more important than the parts we know. Sometimes the lie can be
something untrue that the speaker thinks is true, otherwise known as
misinformation (as opposed to disinformation, which is something
untrue that the speaker knows is untrue). In yet other cases, particular
erroneous beliefs are so universal—serial killers are always men,
the Founding Fathers cared about the masses—that you can’t pinpoint
certain speakers in order to ascertain their motives; it’s just
something that everyone “knows.” Sometimes, in fact, the lie might
be the outmoded dominant paradigm in a certain field. Arelated type
of lie—a “meta-lie,” perhaps—occurs when certain institutions arrogantly
assume that they have all the answers. These institutions then
try to manipulate us with a swarm of smaller individual lies.
.
.
.
.
.
Such cases of positive proof are in the minority, though. Basically, the
pieces in this book show that the received wisdom—the common
knowledge—is often wrong. Well, then, what’s right? That’s a much,
much more complicated question, and the answers are elusive.
Hopefully we’ll all spend our lives pursuing them. But the first step is
to realize that the “answers” that are being handed to us on a silver
platter—or, perhaps more often, shoved down our throats—are
often incorrect, incomplete, and usually serve the interests of the
people promoting those so-called answers. That’s where You Are
Being Lied To comes in.
-Russ Kick
(on Chomsky - Disinformation Guide)
people and advance the agenda of the liar. Or it can be a “lie of omission,”
in which the crucial part of the story that we’re not being told is
more important than the parts we know. Sometimes the lie can be
something untrue that the speaker thinks is true, otherwise known as
misinformation (as opposed to disinformation, which is something
untrue that the speaker knows is untrue). In yet other cases, particular
erroneous beliefs are so universal—serial killers are always men,
the Founding Fathers cared about the masses—that you can’t pinpoint
certain speakers in order to ascertain their motives; it’s just
something that everyone “knows.” Sometimes, in fact, the lie might
be the outmoded dominant paradigm in a certain field. Arelated type
of lie—a “meta-lie,” perhaps—occurs when certain institutions arrogantly
assume that they have all the answers. These institutions then
try to manipulate us with a swarm of smaller individual lies.
.
.
.
.
.
Such cases of positive proof are in the minority, though. Basically, the
pieces in this book show that the received wisdom—the common
knowledge—is often wrong. Well, then, what’s right? That’s a much,
much more complicated question, and the answers are elusive.
Hopefully we’ll all spend our lives pursuing them. But the first step is
to realize that the “answers” that are being handed to us on a silver
platter—or, perhaps more often, shoved down our throats—are
often incorrect, incomplete, and usually serve the interests of the
people promoting those so-called answers. That’s where You Are
Being Lied To comes in.
-Russ Kick
(on Chomsky - Disinformation Guide)
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
And so the story goes.
I was talking to my dear friend last night and parts of it I liked... Thought it was really rather good actually.
Feelings are not a barometer of life, neither are they a barometer of good or bad, happiness or sadness. It is a barometer of the unconscious mind's past experience and a bit of genetic programming. As such, in my opinion, self justification may not be necessary as it won't change anything. But rather, experience shapes who we are, our feelings, and that translates to how we act and react. All done unconsciously. Self justification would only be putting into words what we have always been doing. Or eerily,
"Because we all do and say things that truly surprise us, we must construct(fabricate) a narrative(story) that makes sense of those behaviors that contradict with our interim" - Kevin Hogan
What I think is that, perhaps it's not about talking about it. Saying what you can and cannot do, will or will not do. Experience would let you discover yourself. Dangerous thing about this is that values, morals must be developed to a certain extent before embarkation. Though no one should be afraid to change viewpoint, there has to be certain level of self imposed self restraint.
Still hung on
I am thinking, therefore I exist./
I think, therefore I am./
Cogito ergo sum.
- Descartes / St. Augustine
Feelings are not a barometer of life, neither are they a barometer of good or bad, happiness or sadness. It is a barometer of the unconscious mind's past experience and a bit of genetic programming. As such, in my opinion, self justification may not be necessary as it won't change anything. But rather, experience shapes who we are, our feelings, and that translates to how we act and react. All done unconsciously. Self justification would only be putting into words what we have always been doing. Or eerily,
"Because we all do and say things that truly surprise us, we must construct(fabricate) a narrative(story) that makes sense of those behaviors that contradict with our interim" - Kevin Hogan
What I think is that, perhaps it's not about talking about it. Saying what you can and cannot do, will or will not do. Experience would let you discover yourself. Dangerous thing about this is that values, morals must be developed to a certain extent before embarkation. Though no one should be afraid to change viewpoint, there has to be certain level of self imposed self restraint.
Still hung on
I am thinking, therefore I exist./
I think, therefore I am./
Cogito ergo sum.
- Descartes / St. Augustine
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Actions
There are 2 main ways on how we approach things. Basically, I think it can be broken down into - the hunger for the outcome, and the analysis of the process.
The hunger of the outcome.
There are many things that I want , and it is really the main way which dictates the way I approach and do things. I just look at my final goal, and get there. There really isnt that much analysis into the path that I take. It's just whatever comes to mind. It's exhausting every path because I want to get the outcome.
The analysis of the process.
Pretty darn self explanatory innit? It's where the money is, every book written about winning arguments to talks given by self proclaimed professionals.
My point? Get what you want. Dont think. Just be.
The hunger of the outcome.
There are many things that I want , and it is really the main way which dictates the way I approach and do things. I just look at my final goal, and get there. There really isnt that much analysis into the path that I take. It's just whatever comes to mind. It's exhausting every path because I want to get the outcome.
The analysis of the process.
Pretty darn self explanatory innit? It's where the money is, every book written about winning arguments to talks given by self proclaimed professionals.
My point? Get what you want. Dont think. Just be.
Gimme - Ferrari & LearJet / Honda Jet
The correlation between ascending to the skies in your own company plane and rising profits may not be a perfect one, but studies show that where you have one, you have the other. Arthur Andersen & Co. recently studied 334 of the Standard & Poor's 500 companies and found that those that acquired business aircraft created 600 percent gains in shareholder value (which includes stock-price appreciation and dividends) over a seven-year period, compared with 463 percent at other companies. Measures of sales and profit also favored those corporations that used business jets.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Music
I was told that my car sounded good, and that really made my day! Rather, it was how that message was put through to me! "I was crossing the road, and I heard a car that sounded really good! Sounded like my darling, and it was!"
Double whammy!
And I was thinking of going home to sleep! Take a break from what's happening. This shit is bananas, B A N A N A S!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Plans and mediocrity
There are many of them out there who would very mistakenly think that they are more than what they are. But what really bugs me is when the ones who are truly awesome in many aspects start doubting themselves. I think that is just and simply insane. I think that whatever it is, everyone should be confident of themselves to make the right decision. Be sure of yourself.
However, there will come points in time when you do realize that you do make mistakes. We all do. Dont doubt yourself after that. You have it in you, noone's doubting your capabilities. Why do it yourself?
Arrrrgghhh... I am just tired... monday mornings just aint cool. And there is a very heavy dead weight that I feel creeping up. The shit MIGHT hit the fan. And this might be MAJOR. I just hope it goes away. Quick. Shoo.
However, there will come points in time when you do realize that you do make mistakes. We all do. Dont doubt yourself after that. You have it in you, noone's doubting your capabilities. Why do it yourself?
Arrrrgghhh... I am just tired... monday mornings just aint cool. And there is a very heavy dead weight that I feel creeping up. The shit MIGHT hit the fan. And this might be MAJOR. I just hope it goes away. Quick. Shoo.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Music!
You Say Jonas Brothers- I say METALLICA!
You say Vanessa Hudgens- I say IRON MAIDEN
You say High School Musical- I say JUDAS PRIEST
You say I wanna be like you- I say You Can't
You say Rap- I say METAL
You say your weird- I say YOUR A FAG
80% of kid's have turned to pop, Fake rock, Or Rap.
What are You?
You say Vanessa Hudgens- I say IRON MAIDEN
You say High School Musical- I say JUDAS PRIEST
You say I wanna be like you- I say You Can't
You say Rap- I say METAL
You say your weird- I say YOUR A FAG
80% of kid's have turned to pop, Fake rock, Or Rap.
What are You?
Friday, March 13, 2009
Transparency
Strange, I just went through a document on corporate transparency and what not, and though I am still not finished with it, I have gone through a full round of self bashing.
Not what you can do, but what you should do.
Risk Compensation - Peltzman (1975)
He says:" The simple act of making drivers feel safe in a car will encourage dangerous driving". You can find quite a bit of supporting statistics. Disturbingly, that can barely be said for the opposite.
Read his paper if you can!
He says:" The simple act of making drivers feel safe in a car will encourage dangerous driving". You can find quite a bit of supporting statistics. Disturbingly, that can barely be said for the opposite.
Read his paper if you can!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The Fire in My Eyes
I am just existing, trying my best. What can I say. Decisions count. I am tired.
Emotions remind us of songs? Then this is how I feel.
Clairvoyant - Maiden
7th son of a 7th son - Maiden
(The fire in my eyes as I'm )staring at the sun. - Offspring
Give it up - Masterboy
(Welcome to our )different dreams - (open your mind and get together to the magic sound of Masterboy.)
Fiery - Gu Wat Zai.
Emotions remind us of songs? Then this is how I feel.
Clairvoyant - Maiden
7th son of a 7th son - Maiden
(The fire in my eyes as I'm )staring at the sun. - Offspring
Give it up - Masterboy
(Welcome to our )different dreams - (open your mind and get together to the magic sound of Masterboy.)
Fiery - Gu Wat Zai.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Babu's story
I was having a drink just now with the new manager, and for the price of a coffee, he told me a story. Totally worth it.
There was a guru. Archery. 2 students. Standing atop a mound or an elevation of some sort, the guru asked them to describe what they saw in front of them. The first told of the buildings, trees and birds and scenery. The second however, kept quiet. So the guru asked. What do you see? He said, eye, feather, beak..... and what not.. so the guru stared at where his student was looking, and after a while, realized that he was staring at a bird in a tree. This archer later went on to become some real famous archer in Indian history... whose name i cannot remember.
The point is... I am not too sure actually. Perspective or focusing on detail? Detail is contradicting to perspective cos perspective is broad? Awww... whatever it is, totally worth the dollar I paid for his coffee.
There was a guru. Archery. 2 students. Standing atop a mound or an elevation of some sort, the guru asked them to describe what they saw in front of them. The first told of the buildings, trees and birds and scenery. The second however, kept quiet. So the guru asked. What do you see? He said, eye, feather, beak..... and what not.. so the guru stared at where his student was looking, and after a while, realized that he was staring at a bird in a tree. This archer later went on to become some real famous archer in Indian history... whose name i cannot remember.
The point is... I am not too sure actually. Perspective or focusing on detail? Detail is contradicting to perspective cos perspective is broad? Awww... whatever it is, totally worth the dollar I paid for his coffee.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Traumatized
I was scary last night. And I apologize to the one on the phone with me. I wont do crazy shit again. I feel horrid. I feel HORRID.
Lord. I am not worthy.
Is this the escapist in me talking? I cant do anything. I wish I could take us away. To a beautiful place.
Lord. I am not worthy.
Is this the escapist in me talking? I cant do anything. I wish I could take us away. To a beautiful place.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Viva la Resistance
God has smiled upon you this day
The fate of a nation in your hand
And blessed be the children
Who fight with all our bravery
Till only the righteous stand
You see the distant flames, bellowing in the night
You fight in all our names, for what we know is right
And when you all get shot, and cannot carry on
Though you die, La Resistance lives on.
You might get stabbed in the head,
with a dagger or a sword
You may be burnt to death,
skinned alive or worse
But when they torture you,
you will not feel the need to run for,
though you die, La Resistance lives on.
I dare you piss me off.
Roman Calvary
What am I to do with me?
Sigh... this is just not optimal.
What can I do to make everything good again?
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field.
Lyrics | Coldplay lyrics - Viva La Vida lyrics
Sigh... this is just not optimal.
What can I do to make everything good again?
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field.
Lyrics | Coldplay lyrics - Viva La Vida lyrics
Friday, March 6, 2009
Forbidden Knowledge?
We are born with no knowledge whatsoever other than some
minor genetic memories, and many of us simply follow the patterns
that life, evolution, and our peers throw at us. We subconsciously
assume we must do as our forefathers; we must follow in
their footsteps; we must marry, have children, get a job, and step
onto the roller-coaster of commercialism and the greed-oriented
rat race we know as capitalism or even communism. There is seemingly
no way out of this life, and anyway, most of us are enthused
by the chase—for we truly know no different.
As I walked, the swords fell behind me and were placed in a
zig-zag fashion across the floor so that my path behind was no
longer one I could walk. This is a symbolic device, a truth we all
must learn — attempting to rewalk the path we have already trodden
is pointless.
- Gardiner.
minor genetic memories, and many of us simply follow the patterns
that life, evolution, and our peers throw at us. We subconsciously
assume we must do as our forefathers; we must follow in
their footsteps; we must marry, have children, get a job, and step
onto the roller-coaster of commercialism and the greed-oriented
rat race we know as capitalism or even communism. There is seemingly
no way out of this life, and anyway, most of us are enthused
by the chase—for we truly know no different.
As I walked, the swords fell behind me and were placed in a
zig-zag fashion across the floor so that my path behind was no
longer one I could walk. This is a symbolic device, a truth we all
must learn — attempting to rewalk the path we have already trodden
is pointless.
- Gardiner.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Anti-You Stab.
The only decision is revenge. A blood feud, and there is a goal not in vain. Values and integrity will win when the time comes, I know, and to end cruelty.
Immortality
'Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof' - V
Past the Point of No Return
Aww Crap!
What else can I say but I really hate crap. I really dont like this, the realization that no matter what, it's just going to be the same crap all over again. Ah well, I am just going to bear with it for now. For now, because it's the path of least resistance.
Work's smooth, most is falling into place. Not much input is required from me. For now at least. Lets just hope that this isn't the calm before the storm / the eye of the storm, and I will be fine.
That said and aside, I have been feeling rather edgy. I feel the knocking of imminent crap that has sneaked up to my doorstep. Ready to get me at the very next turn or action from me. As for now, I still cant pin point as to where that has been coming from, or as to from which aspect that is generated from. It's just the feeling of impending doom.
To those very close to stepping on my toes. I will take you down. I will destroy you. I am only reasonable when I choose to be. I am not always so. Know your worth and know your boundaries.
What else can I say but I really hate crap. I really dont like this, the realization that no matter what, it's just going to be the same crap all over again. Ah well, I am just going to bear with it for now. For now, because it's the path of least resistance.
Work's smooth, most is falling into place. Not much input is required from me. For now at least. Lets just hope that this isn't the calm before the storm / the eye of the storm, and I will be fine.
That said and aside, I have been feeling rather edgy. I feel the knocking of imminent crap that has sneaked up to my doorstep. Ready to get me at the very next turn or action from me. As for now, I still cant pin point as to where that has been coming from, or as to from which aspect that is generated from. It's just the feeling of impending doom.
To those very close to stepping on my toes. I will take you down. I will destroy you. I am only reasonable when I choose to be. I am not always so. Know your worth and know your boundaries.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Endgame.
Well, it's been a few days since I smoked a proper cigarette, and honestly, it is getting easier, just a tad, but my major problem is that, I cant seem to get my brain to start working properly! Coffee increases the urge to smoke tenfold so I'd rather not go there. I feel tired, irritated, and well, generally crap. Well, I suppose it's cos my body hasnt been smoke free for 13 years!
Well, on the other hand, I have also been thinking a bit as to common reactions to feedback.
Just because things are known to react and become one way, doesnt necessarily mean that everything will take that prescribed path right? And when it doesnt, are we to be disappointed? I think that personal expectation is really a formidable force. In most cases, all we can do is hope for the best, and see what time brings. That is of course, must be done without neglect to the decisions that we have made.
You know what... Brain just isnt working, not enough to think straight or do much productive...
Ciao.
Well, on the other hand, I have also been thinking a bit as to common reactions to feedback.
Just because things are known to react and become one way, doesnt necessarily mean that everything will take that prescribed path right? And when it doesnt, are we to be disappointed? I think that personal expectation is really a formidable force. In most cases, all we can do is hope for the best, and see what time brings. That is of course, must be done without neglect to the decisions that we have made.
You know what... Brain just isnt working, not enough to think straight or do much productive...
Ciao.
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