The end.

There was a time in my life, just like my msn status says - "Soldiers and dolls wont give away, my childhood dream, I was a pirate, I conquered, and I sailed free" That's from a song that I really liked in the past. Anyhow, I have been feeling really murderous today, because, firstly, it's Easter Monday and it isn't a public holiday in Singapore, and also because I went for a job interview. No surprise that the guys there wanted to hire me. I mean, I don't usually get turned down. However, the reason why I am again holding a can of beer nursing it , is simply because, I was there, and the reality of thing hit me like a freight train!

I have taken many steps to ensure that I don't become a boring sod in a dead job, but with everything considered, I think I am going to become just that! The kind of person that I so hated, and hated to become.

Oh well, perhaps I should share what happened during the interview. I was sitting there, totally bored out of my mind, thinking about just how excited another fresh graduate would be if her/she were in my shoes, and then came in this snooty old man, 60 he says he was, with a terrible case of sinus. Of course, me being me, I started telling him that he should try using Neilmed sinus wash - this squirt-y thing that I tried and which works wonders for me. So going on, he starts quizzing me about technicalities of the manufacturing sector, and of course, boasting that he is oh so determined, successful, and whatever not a 60 year old dude has to say to make himself feel that he has accomplished a whole lot. I took an immediate dislike to him, but true to the salesman side of me, I bet he thought I was his best friend. I was determined to get the job, just so that I dont tarnish my record of never being turned down.

That said, I was happily amusing them with my crap, and watching them get all big headed and full of themselves, thinking that they have a whole cartload of shit that they can impart to this young boy when it hit me like a friggin freight train! I dont want to learn your crap! I don't want to become you! I was really silent right through the DISC personality test that they asked me to complete. I was really in shock, and thinking back at the companies that I have worked at, I do know what I wanna do. A back end sales position is definitely not what I had in mind, no matter how much you are paying! I am not selling out myself, and killing my character just so that someone can boast that I am learning from them!

Well there, I bet there's already a medical term for it, feeling the way I feel. Post educational depression? I know what I want, what I want to do. This is really far from it. Perhaps I should really just go for what I want.