Differences

Differences in objective. That has been what has been on my mind all weekend. Well, before I start, April fool’s day was awesome! Got a good 15+ knots for 3 hours, then 10+ for the next 3. That got me happily planning on my carve 145, and 8.6m Severne Turbo for the first 3 hours, and then Starboard HWR, Neilpryde 11m formula stuff for the next 3 hours. That left me with an insane sunburn that is currently killing me!

Riight, back to the topic at hand. What has been happening. I am actually annoyed again at the person who sweeps things under the carpet, and thinking that the avoidance of a confrontation is the way to make the problem go away. I suppose that in hindsight, there really isn’t anything left to be said and done. Still, it is annoying that there wasn’t much of a closure, so much so that I am still hoping for something more. Something more that can no longer be. I have always drawn a line at physical infidelity. Reconciling with myself over what has been taken from me is quite nasty. I never want to feel this way again. Progressively, I think that I am getting more and more jaded, and that I am becoming less and less trusting of people. Mostly of their characters and determination. I know that linguistically, there are loads of things that can be said about how I feel, and what my experiences have made me out to me. However, I suppose that though I can reason that out for myself, that I am who I am, and that my character has been moulded by experience, and as such, nothing is going to change.

There was a time when I was really geeky, and I delved into academia, and the pursuit of perfection in many aspects of my life. I was into golf and billiards, and if you know those, they are in many ways the pursuit of perfection. I should go back to that. I should go back to cooling down, taking time to sort out myself and the things around me. I should try and return to a clam state, the calm that I used to know so well.